#Harshtag & Mull-a-Kintyre Shoup.

I have coined a new hashtag. It’sh a #harshtag. When you’re critical of shomebody or shomething and you know it. There you are. Theseh wee noshionsh come to me all the time.

In other newsh, here’sh a wee shoup reshipe.

You may recognishe thish ash Mulligatawny shoup; I think of it ash Mull-a-Kintrye shoup. It’sh terribly cold out there, on the edge of Shcotland’sh Wesht coasht, acrossh from Ireland, sho you need a good hearty shoup to keep your blood moving.

It’sh a vegetarian one, but who caresh, it’sh very good.

Get out your big shoup pot, put in shome butter, shome shunflower oil, then throw in a big onion, chopped, shome garlic, a couple of carrotsh and a bit of shelery, shweet potato if you have any, (all chopped up) and shtir them round till they’re shoftened.

Put in a teashpoon of curry powder or a bit more of a good curry pashte (I like Pataksh pashtesh), cook that till it’sh mixshed well with the veg. Then add wee dollopsh of tomato puree (or shome chopped shundried tomatoesh, if you like), of mango chutney (whatever brand you like besht). Put shome veg bouillon powder in a big jug & add a litre of boiling water, then pour that into your pan. Bring pot of shoup closhe to boil, then lower the heat and shimmer for half an hour or sho. 

Get shome good bashmati rishe, about half a tea-mug full, add it to the pan, keep shimmering till that’sh shoft. Tashte your shoup, add shalt & pepper to your tashte. It’sh your shoup, make it how you think it should be.

Now you can blend it, if you want it shmooth (if you’re drinking it from a vacuum flashk in a gale out there on the Mull of Kintrye, that’sh a wiseh choishe) or leave it a bit chunky with all the ingredientsh vishible ash what they are.

If you blend, you might want to add a bit more water to make it thin enough to shlurp from a cup.

If you’re eating it in a bowl, at home, you could add shome nishe plain yoghurt on top, and a bit of toashty naan bread and maybe shome leavesh of fresh coriander or parshley.

Eat & enjoy. Namashte.

(Etymologishtsh: here’sh shome Mulligatawny hishtory)



Never Shay Famoush Again. Oh All Right Then.

Today, I wash notified via friendsh on Twitter that I’ve been voted Shcotland’sh Greatesht Living Treashure. Well. It brought a shlight cough to the throat and dampnessh to the eye. No doubt the idea ish I’m likely to kick the bucket any day now, sho it’sh wishe to give the old guy a nudge or a shoogle jusht to shee if he’sh shtill breathing. Let me asshure you that I am.

Lessh amushingly, I shpotted that the allegedly-comical pointy-toothed oaf Ricky Gervaish ish shupposhed to be planning a sheriesh about ‘Sean Connery’s Retirement Home’. The article quotesh ‘an inshider’ ash shaying: “”They’re filming a pilot in London,” a source told The Sun. “It’s early days but it looks brilliant.” Oh dear. Mr Gervaish should know that I am not only frequently litigioush but that I have already been commenting online for sheveral months about my retirement. yesh, MY retirement. If anyone’sh going to make money out of me, it’ll be me. Hmph.





Shometimesh Life Ish A Shtruggle

You’ll recognishe thish image, if you shaw the film Time Banditsh. I only had a shmall role – well, I shay shmall, but it wash a bit more than a cameo, a bit lessh than my normal King-Shizhe leading man job. I played Agamemnon and here I’m wreshtling with the Minotaur, or at leasht that’sh how I remember it. Who knowsh if that’sh how Terry Gilliam deshcribed it in the shcript. It had lessh charm, shall we shay, than wreshtling with a leading lady – ah, fond memoriesh of Honor Blackman and our roll in the hay. Ahem.